The Joy of Becoming a Parent: The Joy of Becoming a Parent

The Joy of Becoming a Parent: The Joy of Becoming a Parent

The Joy of Becoming a Parent

Chapter 1: Looking Back

                        Becoming a parent is like nothing else you'll ever do. It is a journey and one of the most important and rewarding things. This is the time when you discover feelings you didn't know you had that will change your life. Parenting has a lifelong  effect on the health and life of your child and oh yes.........it is hard work especially from the start.  My name is Sheila, aged 25 and I am proud to be a new mom! I will be sharing to you my experiences from pre-natal to early motherhood stage. Hoping that my story would be of help to all struggling new parents.

I danced ballet since I was 7 years old. After years and years of training, it paid back when I got accepted at a professional ballet company in my home country, Philippines. My glorious days as a dancer was with Ballet Manila. That’s the name of the ballet company I used to work for. Fantastic training and never ending performances. Being healthy and fit should always be met. Ok, enough of my dancing now. Sorry I just got carried away. Anyhow, everything went so wonderful when the love of my life, Chris, who is also a dancer in the same company, asked for my hand in marriage. And so it happened. Wedding bells were heard on the 3rd of January 2009. 

For several days I noticed something different about me and I found out I haven’t had my period since last month. Then I had nausea and vomited. Yup, we all know what that means. I got two pregnancy tests positive and so just to make sure, my husband and I went to see a doctor. We both felt like floating on clouds on our way home and informed our parents about the good news. Everyone was so happy especially me and my husband. We’re going to be parents! I started taking vitamins and healthy food at this stage. Leaving all the chocolates, alcohols and caffeines behind for the good of the baby in my tummy. I had mixed emotions. Like being excited and scared. Then sadness came unto me when we made the decision to leave dancing for sometime for the baby’s future. Plans were changed and made. What matters now is all about the baby. Both of us left Ballet Manila and flew all the way here in New Zealand. My husband is a New Zealand citizen so it wasn’t hard for me to get a Visa.

We stayed in Wellington. It was winter when we arrived and considering it was my first winter experience and I’m pregnant, I was freezing!!! Pregnant women are very sensitive and everything is to the extremes. If you’re not too hot, you’re too cold. My husband had to work 2 normal jobs at the same time for us to have enough money to pay the rent, bills and savings in preparation for the coming baby. He was a barista at Mc Café in the mornings and a bartender at a restaurant in the evenings. He tried to join the Royal New Zealand Ballet Company but it was a bad timing because they weren’t in need of boys for the season they are doing at the moment. So, he had no choice. Me? All I ever did was to take care of myself and the baby inside me. I go to my weekly check-up, do walking exercise in the morning, take daily prescribed vitamins, eat well and get enough rest. Of course I also take care of my husband. Making sure that he eats well and gets rest. We share stories and comfort thoughts when were together just to relax ourselves and let go of the rough day at work. We give a big smile whenever we feel the baby kicking inside my tummy. Oh! What a wonderful moment it was.

                       At around 5:00 AM of the 21st of August, It was the moment we’ve been waiting for. I had the nastiest contractions ever. My husband jumped out of bed,put on his shoes quickly and called up the hospital. They asked me to count the gaps of the contractions first before we go to the hospital. If it was 5 seconds close, then that’s the time we go. We still waited for an hour and fifteen before the contractions got worse to 5 seconds close. We went to the hospital and I was brought to my delivery suite. Wellington Hospital has really nice facilities. I forgot about the pain for a while when I saw the room. I liked it. Then oops!  There goes the pain again. I was in labor for 18 minutes. Then the baby was out. Halleluiah!!! Everyone was amazed how fast I delivered the baby. The doctor said I only did 3 pushes. Wow! I’m shocked myself! Well maybe that’s because I’m an active person. Meaning, I exercise and I am a ballet dancer. Thank God for that!



Chapter 2: A New Beginning

We all welcomed Daniil Raphael Lendio Manlunas to the world! Everyone in Wellington that knew us came to visit and admired our bouncing little baby boy. They just can’t stop saying “he’s so cute”. Even though I was still feeling tired and exhausted from giving birth, I couldn’t stop smiling and laughing every time Daniil moves and looks at me. Then a lot of things run in my head. I knew that ahead of me and my husband lies much delight, love and many challenges. Realizing that this is a tiring, busy time of life, with everyone’s focus being on the newborn. Making sure that he gets the proper love, warmth, guidance, understanding, limits and boundaries, to grow up to be a happy, healthy, and caring person. I stayed at the hospital for 2 days. I recommend you do this too. This is for you to learn the proper caring for your newborn: how to feed, how to bath, how to change nappy, and more. It just bugged me that no one is allowed to stay with me at night. Not even my husband. Can you imagine? Oh well, Hospital rules…

The first three days with the baby is normally the hardest days for new parents. It is when you are still adjusting to the needs of your baby. It is normal for babies to cry but you should try to know what the cause is. Whether it may be feeding, nappy change or something else. You should learn to distinguish which one it is. In my case, I got really frustrated during the first three days. I wasn’t able to produce milk right away that’s why Daniil was always crying. Our aunt told us to buy formula just so the baby could have food. And so she was right, after Daniil had the bottle, he slept instantly. He was just so hungry! We told the midwife what happened during her next visit and she said that it was a good idea for me to give formula to the baby. I was told that sometimes milk comes out after 4days. In fact my milk did come out that day and so I chose to mix feed the baby. Breastfeeding usually goes well and mothers and babies enjoy it but many mothers need help when they begin breastfeeding, especially if baby is their first. Like me, I had a hard time latching Daniil’s mouth. I just had to be patient as me and my baby learn how to breastfeed. It also helps to ask your midwife, nurse or doctor to be with you for the first feed to help with the best position for your baby to feed and to prevent sore nipples. Breastfeeding takes a lot of time at first and babies may want to feed often. It is important for you to rest while the baby is sleeping.  But it wasn’t that long that I had the supply of milk. It was gone after a month so I had to continue with formula feeding alone. I had to make sure that the baby feed is used as soon as possible after it is being prepared. Everything that is used to make up the formula is very clean and feeding equipments must be washed and sterilized. Always wash hands before preparing the bottle. I made sure that I follow instructions as directed in making the bottle feed.  Sometimes I use the microwave but I am very careful. It is best to heat the milk in a jug and pour it in the bottle. This way, the milk is heated evenly. I shake it well and made sure it is lukewarm before I give the feed.

I felt isolated and lonely during the first few weeks at home with the baby. Especially that I only see and get to be with my husband for short times only because of his work. So what I did, I talked to someone about my feelings and let it all out. Good thing we had a neighbor who was also a Filipina (from Philippines) who happens to have a 4months old baby. We share stories and advices. At least I get to have a time to relax and be with someone who understands and shares the same sentiment. This way, I know that I am not the only one struggling and that it is a normal thing to experience in early parenthood.


It is also important for the baby to have his immunisation. Early protection is important because the younger the baby the more serious the disease. When Daniil had his first during his 6th week, he had a mild fever that lasted for a 2 days. Doctor said it is normal. I just give him panadol every after 6 hours to relief the pain. Watching Daniil cry his heart out while the doctor puts the needle into his skin was a heartache but I just think of it that it’s for his own good...


Chapter 3: Daniil’s First Two Months

Crying is a way for the baby to let you know what he wants. Babies may fuzz or cry for a lot of reasons. Sometimes you may know the reason, but often you can only guess. At times, a baby may cry no matter what you do.


My Daniil is a crying machine. What I usually do is that I first give him a cuddle, check if he needs his nappy changed, look for the sign of hunger or tiredness. Sometimes I even talk to him and sing him a  song. Scary thing is if the baby has colic. Oh yes! Daniil did have his share of colic. He cries for several hours a day and no other cause of the crying have been found. I get  so scared when I see him crying so loud while drawing his knees up. Poor baby! I just didn’t know what to do at first. I called up my midwife and asked for help. She asked us to buy Infacol at the pharmacy. Infacol helps get wind out of the baby’s system and make them feel comfortable again. That was one experience I would never want to experience again. Caring  for a crying, colicky baby can be very stressful. But I have learned from this experience that the best way to deal with it is to stay calm and relaxed even though it’s extremely hard. The baby needs our help and sympathy, anger and stress is the opposite. In order to make my life more easier in taking care of my baby, I read books, watch videos and guides about taking care of babies. I also got used to the waking up at nights routine and after a month, I was able to keep up.



Chapter 4:“ The Fun Begins ”  3- 4  Months

this chapter is still under construction... in the meantime enjoy watching my baby's pictures at this stage...